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June 29, 2006
One word of advice....
....don't make yourself indispensable at work, it'll only haunt you..Also, tomorrow is Friday, and that is always a good thing. It also means I have to iron some clothes, which I better go do now.
Happy Firday everyone (I am well aware I type Firday...it makes it sound better)
Posted by kat at 8:39 PM | Comments (2)
June 27, 2006
Got them Tuesday Blues
Bah Humbug to work, and everything related to it, I'm going to have some me time tonight. I thought leaving my job would be hard, and I would cry, but by God, I cannot wait for 08 September 2006 to roll in. People are just take take take, or in their case with work...give give give. 17:05 I'm walking out the door....I had been in since 7:30......and someone says "Oh, can you quickly do this for me?", I said that I was actually finishing for the day, but they completely ignored what I said and passed the work to me anyway. People are so rude sometimes, and there a certain lack of courtesy with this new team.
And I found this on thefreedictionary.com, somehow it customized my page when it loads, and I'm not into horoscopes... but it is rather amusing: "No one debates more aggressively than you, dear Gemini. Let's hope that the people you argue with will understand that this is because you love to talk and not because you have a desire to denigrate their ideas. You seem more convinced than usual of what you say. Continue on this path. Your intellectual powers are in full bloom!"
Also, a very, merry brithday to one of my favourite girls ever. You know who you are. Have a drink for me...hell, have one for the holy beskonke too. We'll catch up at the end of the year and have a wicked time, as my liver will be fully trained to that of a student. Also, should be there for New Years......maybe this time I might make it til midnight, and make it into the pool too!!
Right...back to the "me" time...how selfish am i?
Posted by kat at 6:27 PM | Comments (0)
June 24, 2006
Sad, sad news
Yesterday was a very, very sad day for the Testundinidae family
Posted by kat at 1:18 PM | Comments (0)
June 22, 2006
Natural selection
Okay, so I feel like offending people today...especially stupid and lazy ones. They are the bane of my life. Those who think the world owes them one too, we could get rid of them somehow as well. I reckon we should implement unnatural selection. Stupid people should be sterilized, because they are the ones more than likely to have teen pregnancies and spread the stupidness, and then the intelligent ones of the world, who work hard and pay their taxes, have to pay for these people. I think not. Please note that I am not poking fun at peole who are born with learning disabilties and the like, just those not willing to learn or work hard for something. Those who live off state benefits and do very little but drink, smoke and spawn more children of Satan who will not be disciplined properly, and who will run riot and end up just like their mother's: 14 years old, pregnant, with a fag in the one hand, a child cradled on the other, and living off the state.
Forgive my brashness, but I feel it must be said.
Posted by kat at 8:29 PM | Comments (2)
June 20, 2006
#100
Today is a rather significant day. We're heading up to the summer solstice, and although I am a firm follower in having proof to believe in things, and have constant arguments in my head over religion, the supernatural, and most things that generally require faith, the solstice is a time where I kind of forget about those things, and for one day believe in celebrating Mother Nature as spirit, and not as a collective term for an ecosystem.
I did very little in the way of work today, and almost literally had my head in the clouds. It got me thinking about fate and destiny and all that stuff I usually disregard as mumbo jumbo. I have an open mind, but as mentioned above, I need proof before I can take the plunge into actually believing the said thing. I think I may be seeing some form of fate weaving its way through my life at the moment. I'm not very good at passing judgment, in fact I'm utterly crap, but lately I seem to be making decisions that feel right, and seem to turn out well too. Things have been going fabulously for me this year.
Just before I got home I received a disturbing phonecall, which made my heart sink. I feel helpless in this situation that has arisen. The only thing I can think of is to put my arms around this person. I'm not very good at comforting people with words, I wish I was, because it would make things alot easier. I just wish the good fortune I have had, makes its way down south of the island.
I have taken many knocks and setbacks to get to where I am now, and I just hope this person has the strength to get through this, and that I can provide the same support that was given to me in my difficult times. I will always be here for you NM, and evern though I'll be a hop across the water, I'll still need a bit of looking after. And don't you worry, I still have exams to revise for :) I just hope I have flat-mates are as tolerent as you.
Moving along, as I wouldn't like to damper the tone of my #100 entry. Yes I have filled a whole 100 entries worth of pants rambling. Every now and then I go back to read one, and forget that I actually wrote some of the things. Usually "Oh God, did I actually write that rubbish?" comes to mind, but there are a few jems in there that are so incoherent, a professional translator wouldn't know where to start. Oh well, it is a direct link into the mishappenings of my mind.
After having a huge argument with Phil the arse (as he is now being called) about whether I actually have a soul or not, it was today agreed that I sometimes smile (although all too ofter lately), and thus must have some form of inner being, but it only selectively shows itself. Thanks Phil....you're still an arse.
I really wanted to talk a photo of the sea today. It was absolutely exquisite, with a marbling of all my favourite colours, and angry waves beneath a grey sky. But.....as new toys go, I'm not too good with the recharging of batteries, so my effort of getting the perfect landscape was fruitless. Maybe another day.
I don't really have anything much else to say, although I do think I owe it to this entry as it is such a landmark in the history of blogginess. Well, maybe my history, certainly not anyone elses. Maybe I should just quit this one whilst I'm ahead, as I feel it is spiralling downwards. Next I'll be talking about the weather....which by the way I think the solstice has already occurred-Summer is well and truly finished.....we have gale force winds and lots of rain. I just hope the weather clears up for 08 July for then I shall be donning my yellow feather and purple tights, and venturing out into the real world as a giant chicken. I can't wait.
And now I have just stooped that little bit lower on the scale of crap writing to actually talking about the weather.
Happy Tuesday everyone!
Posted by kat at 7:00 PM | Comments (0)
June 18, 2006
Tin what?
Yesterday I attended a most prestigious event. "What?", I hear you ask. Well, it was something we call the Tin Bath World Championships, of which I have posted some photos on the gallery. A brief synopsis of what takes place goes something like this:
Step one: Have a few pints at the Gluey (The Castle Arms, formerly the Gluepot)
Step two: Climb into a tin bath.....the ones that people used to do their washing in.
Step three: Row across Castletown harbour and back without sinking
Now, many people do take this event very seriously as, of course, a World Championship title is at stake. Intense training takes places weeks before the event (usually in a pub), and much effort is put into outfits and tin bath adornment. I have two close ups of my favourite baths. The one that quite clearly had more effort put into it, had a participant in matching outfit.
You may notice that there is photo of a man in a seemingly odd outfit, who thought I was chatting him up by taking his photo, but I just found the likeness to this really funny. He also responded when I shouted "Hey, look at the pimpy red mage!"
I think you may also notice the tin bath in the distance of one of the photos, and yes there is one that looks like a football tribute, and yes that is one with a cardboard cut out that resembles a dragon's head, thus transforming a seemingly ordinary bath, into a viking warship, complete with viking. His portrait will follow, as the photo is on my mom's camera.
All in all, a fabby day was had by all, complete with ice-cream, and sugary drinks.
Posted by kat at 1:10 PM | Comments (1)
June 16, 2006
Tumult...what a great word
I wonder if people are born into the world to be alone. I believe I am one of those people. I am happiest when I'm by myself, life is simple. I don't have to deal with complex emotions. I don't have to watch what I say for fear of offending people, as it does not matter to me if I ever see them again. I do like the company of people, but I don't really like becoming attached. I could be quite content drifting in and out of peoples lives, and when my judgement day comes, and if people come to my funeral, I wouldn't be offended if no one can really recall who I really was.
I am one of those people with the barrier syndrome...you know the sort, never really allows anyone close enough, gets all cagey etc. Except, I'm quite happy doing that. Maybe I'm just selfish, I want to keep things going my way, so that I don't have to accomodate anyone else. Maybe it really is a defense system to prevent hurt and pain. I'm not a great risk taker when it comes to emotions, particularly because they are so volatile. I don't know if I should just go with what I feel is right, or actually try work on this emotional barrier thing. I have such poor judgement of things. Writing helps me express myself a damn site better than I can verbalise things, and although I know a few people read this to get updates because I'm crap at writing emails or picking up the phone (sorry you guys in ZA ><), and my family occasionally hop on, it's not like I'm talking to anyone.
Right now I am at a very confusing point in my life. i just wish someone could relate to how I feel right now. Every emotions is pulsing through me at the moment, and I can't explain it to anyone, let alone try share my feelings directly with people. Lately all I seem to talk about is how I feel, but it seems to get me nowhere. I hate imposing stupid "I feel sad" "I feel crap" "I feel like jumping off a high bridge" comments on the people willing to listen, because it isn't how i truly feel.
......and this is why the barrier option is easier. Out of sight, out of mind, don't have to deal with listening to silly person ranting on about what she thinks are serious issues in her life...there are millions dying out there, get it into perspective. I have been there with other people thinking "God, would they stop moaning about how bad their day has been...etc. etc.", and I know they are probably thinking the same. Suppose I could put on that o'l brave face again, and be the dork everyone expects me to be.
I think I'm going to study neuroscience so I can figure out how the Goddamn mind works, on a molecular level, of course.
Rant over...hopefully you won't see one of these in a long time
Posted by kat at 6:25 PM | Comments (0)
TGIF
I was in a foul mood yesterday, but somehow I managed to ovecome it. Lets just say I got through it with a little help from my muse of good moods. I am so relieved it is Friday, and hope I don't have a week like I've had in a very, very long time. I just want to get through today in one piece. The up side on this week is that I have actually been able to sleep for a more human amount of hours.....maybe it's the sleep making me grumpy. I'll never know.
Have a good one.
Posted by kat at 5:51 AM | Comments (0)
June 14, 2006
Make mine a large one
Note to self.....Wednesday, 14 June 2006, was the crappiest day this year to date. My dear sweet Lord, I am in a grumpy mood. I was rather excited this mid-morning, day-dreaming about packing up and going off to study (which has installed renewed hope in the fact that I'm doing the right thing), when this little thing called work got in the way. 3 people in our department were off today for some or other woesy reason, and guess who has to pick up the pieces.....you guessed it....the girl described as having a talent for banking.
Firstly, I'd like to point out that it is impossible to have a talent for banking, just an ability not to snap and want to gun down everyone in the office for asking stupid questions repeatedly.
Secondly, they will be screwed when I leave. It kind of makes me feel good that I'm that relied upon, but it will also make my leaving harder as I will have to train about 5 people to do the job I do. This is not good news, as I am not a very good teacher. If it makes sense to me, that's good enough. Don't go asking me to explain, slowly, to people what goes through my head. I can't even keep up with my mind sometimes. The next few weeks should be fun ><
So, I handed in my official letter and my manager made a sad face, which is strange because she never does that. I will miss her. She has taught me alot about how to deal with people and how to read them. She also gave me the oppotunity to grow as a person within the bank, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
I shall, once again, try to get a good night's rest, however I think it unlikely. I had to load myself up with coffee today so my body would keep pace with my mind. Now I'm twitching. Considering I've done so well off 3 hours sleep, I am tempted to just listen to my body, and not force myself to sleep. Last night involved much tossing and turning, and I woke up at 4:30 anyway feeling pretty bright. Mind, we do have a photographer coming in for the newspaper, so I do need the beauty sleep, or just a hell of alot of slap under the eyes :)
I'm going to go do what every girl does when she's feelin' blue....EAT TACOS
Happy crappy day!
Posted by kat at 6:34 PM | Comments (0)
June 12, 2006
Hoorah for Mondays
Well today went rather quick. It started well, and had ended just as good. Spoke to my manager, who was really chuffed for me, and wants my timetable so they can schedule some "Kat" jobs for my holidays. The condition on me leaving was if I look after her cats in a couple of weeks for a fortnight whilst she's away. That I can do. It was nice to get everything all out in the open with everyone, as I did keep all of this rather hush-hush.
Not much else to report, apart from a big thanks to Ben for the champagne my brother just polished off. Oh well,at least Leslie and I got a small glass of it ^^ Hopefully more than enough to send me off to sleep. I think I may get an early night in, seeing as I have been averaging pretty poor hours in the sleep department. My mind is buzzing, along with my caffeine riddled body, and that doesn't bode well when trying to get some shuteye. I struggle to fall asleep, and wake up at ungodly hours. What's a girl to do.....I need my beauty sleep!
Off to bed for me. Resignation letters to write tomorrow, and transport to Edinburgh to arrange. /sigh
Posted by kat at 9:05 PM | Comments (0)
June 11, 2006
I'd like to teach the world to sing
Actually, I wouldn't. If eveyone could sing, watching people do karaoke wouldn't be as fun. My stomach is doing backflips again, and my head is mess. I'm so confused about my future. I thought it would be easier than this, but it isn't. I'm trying to embrace the moment, but I keep on thinking how good I have it right now, and do I really want to risk losing the little bit of happiness I have for the great unknown. This year has been a good one, and I wish that the people closest to me share in the luck I have had, my mom in particular. She's had a tough year, and although I'm persuing my dreams, I'm doing it with her in mind too.
The prospect of packing up is exciting, although it is only a few months off. I <3 packing. I think I was a gypsy in my past life. I gypsy's cat perhaps. I like starting all over again, but not usually when I have established myself. It's taken me 3 years to be happy here, and find people with common interests, and now I'm packing up and leaving it behind. Now you can understand my problem.
I will definately be going, but I need a couple of weeks to get used to the thought. It really is a life-changing event, although I do believe that every living moment can be a life-changing event, no matter how small it is.
I think I smell burning cake.....Happy Sunday :)
Posted by kat at 12:07 PM | Comments (0)
June 10, 2006
Long weekends are great
And that's about all I have to say. Apart from the fact that I seem to be unable to communicate with the human race, everything is swell. Why do I think I am unable to communicate with the human race? Here's a good example:
Hairdresser > "So what are we doing today"
Me> "I want a cut and a bit of colour here and there.................. but please no red"
Hairdresser > "Ok, no problem, would you like to choose a shade from the sample book"
Me> "Sure, I have that shade of NON-RED"
Hairdresser > "Ok, I'll just go mix the colour"
40 minutes later
*thinks to myself "my, that shade of red all over my head really does not suit me"*
I couldn't bring myself to tell her that she completely messed up and had permanently dyed my hair to my least favourite colour in the whole world, and that nothing in my wardrobe will go with my stupid reddy tinged hair. The cut is cute though. I think I shall be buying some home dye in a nice boring brown to get rid of the colour. It makes me all edgy and angry just knowing it's in my hair.
Happy Saturday :)
Posted by kat at 7:46 PM | Comments (0)
June 9, 2006
Butterflies and Hurricanes
Time away from my home makes me think, not about anything in particular, just think. I usually hold my own debate in my head. Some where on my journey growing up someone told me to never take sides, and to listen to all arguments and analyse them on merit and content, rather than on which appealled more. I am now stuck with an endless war of words in my head, and am a very, very confused person. Not confused about who I am, or my identity, but on my ideals. One argument that occurs frequently is particularly close to my heart as I want to work in the Science industry. It goes something along the lines of:
"For or against animal testing". Now I am an avid fan of animals. I love all creatures great and small and try hug at least one a day, but there is that little problem of testing on them. I understand the importance of having to test on animals, and how it impacts the development of live-saving drugs etc etc. I have easily resolved this argument in my head by suggesting that all drugs be tested on people on death row....you know the rapists, murderers, psycho's.
However, some problems aren't so easliy solved, like real life ones. I seem to be able to look at big, life changing problems subjectively and make a fairly non-judgmental decision by weighing up pros and cons and coming to conclusion which my heart may not have wanted, but in my head it is the right thing (by the way, the whole heart/head thing puzzles me as I see them as purely anatomical structures and not the spritiual things they are made out to be-my rule of thumb is if I want it, it's my head, if I wish for it, it's my heart). Anyway, big decisions I can make, but stupid little things like "what shall I wear today" seem to be impossible tasks for me as there are few pros, cons or weighted arguments. I struggle to comprehend how people can go through life just "doing" things without thinking everything though. Everything I do seems to be calculated, weighed up and analysed, and it does sadden me, as I feel I miss out on loads of things because I think too much. I don't lack spontinaity, I just don't seem to frivilous enough. I don't throw caution to the wind, or take enough chances.
Today, I think I shall start living my life.
What a contridiction....it's the thinking that is stopping me doing so.
Posted by kat at 8:20 PM | Comments (0)
(Excitement)
So... I got my grant, and we celebrated today with my family. I haven't been to sleep yet because the reality has not settled into my currently fragile mind. I'm contemplating whether to sleep at all. I put some more pics up, which I cannot get the settings right for. Oh well, as you can see I'm as pale as ever, and this is me with my summer burn...I mean tan.
So many prospects lie ahead of me at the moment, and just the thought of my future is overwhelming me. I won't have to worry about anything at uni, and will be able to concentrate wholly on the studies. The most daunting task ahead will be telling my manager, who I have utmost respect for, that I will be leaving in September. I think maybe I need some rest so I can figure out how to tackle that little duty.
Happy Friday :)
Posted by kat at 5:18 AM | Comments (1)
June 6, 2006
So bored
Aha! I have managed to bypass the dial-up problem! One word….WORD. Yes I am typing this on a Word document, where I will proceed to cut and paste. I am so high tech. At least it will save the Notorious Monster (mother) screaming down my neck.
To day has been a day of self-discovery. I have learnt a few things today, which in my usual style, I shall list (I do like listing things).
1. I have discovered that I may have vegetable Tourette’s*
2. I am a total geek
3. I am a total nerd
4. I can continuously talk utter pants and manage to do my work efficiently too
5. My social life resembles that of a dead potato (there goes the vegetable Tourette’s again)
* The random use of vegetable names in conversations, often in the place of real curses
The total nerd and geek bit arises from the fact that I find these pieces of information extraordinarily interesting:
Shaquille O’Neil is 2,160,000,000 nanometres tall
The nail on your little finger is 10 million nanometres across
A dollar bill is 100,000 nanometres tall
Bet you could impress your friends with that, hey? So I’ve been reading an article in the latest National Geographic which is v. v. exciting. It is about……nanotechnology, and I haven’t been this excited since my moogle cake. I may even sway towards this route with my degree, but then again my direction changes everyday. As long as it’s science, I’ll be happy. All I want is a nifty white coat to go with my oh-so-cool plastic goggles.
Posted by kat at 9:16 PM | Comments (2)
June 4, 2006
Yessir, it's me
So I have snuck on to the intorweb whilst the mother and her sister are out at the pub. I reckoned it would be theraputic for me to stay at her house for the week whilst all the festivities af the TT races are on. I knew I would not see daylight if I stayed at mine.
Sooo.....yesterday was eventful. I fed and took a horse for a walk.....yes a walk, like a giant dog. It had a gammy leg, and so could not be ridden, but its legs needed stretching, so we took it for a walk down the road and across the beach. Photos will be posted when I get back to mine. When we got back to the stables, we snuck a peak at some 3-4week old kittens (I nearly left with 9 of them in my hoodie). They were absolutely gorgeous, not to mention very, very little. As soon as we walked in the room, they all turn onto the backs with their little pot bellies exposed *gets all cat-ernal*.
I then fell asleep in the sun for the best oart of the afternoon, and I now remember why I don't venture outdoors that much. My nose resembles that not unlike Rudolph, and I have the best strap tan ever, with not one, not two, but three separate strap marks. A feat not easily attained by a novice at sun burning.
This morning my dearest Geroge woke me up with a gift. I do miss my cats, and the little cold, rigor mortissed gifts they leave for me. Monday tomorrow, which lately, in my books, has not been much fun, except for last week, but that was because I didn't have to go to work and got to chase Llamas and spent far too much time hunting both real and virtual sheep. I dread work at the moment, again, and it gets me down, which I don't want it to do. I like to enjoy work, seeing as it takes up 10 hours of my day.
Oh well, I need to love and leave everyone until the end of the week when I shall have nice spanking new photos of festivies today,the big race on Friday, and possibly my red nose.
P.S. I hate dial-up ><
Posted by kat at 8:51 PM | Comments (1)
June 1, 2006
Birthday Antics
So, I haven't mentioned much in respect of teh birthday. One word...awesome. I couldn't have asked for a better day...well maybe not going to work would have been nice, but that would be asking too much. Thank you to everyone who made it such a good day, I have renewed faith in birthday celebrations. After years of let downs, you kind of become cynical. It's days like yesterday that can erase all those memories of your friends eating all the smarties out of the wishing well cake, not being able to play an important role in your birthday production of the three pigs (I believe I may have been the person who made the house fall down), and of course, writing exams, especially maths exams on your special day.
As for game play, I'm not totally hanging up my beat cesti...I just won't be spending excessive (by excessive, I do mean the moment I wake until the moment my eyes close) amounts of time online. I would miss everyone far too much, as the real life offers very few like-minded people ;)
I shall be venturing out into the real world next week with the new shiny, and taking photos of all the fabby bikes that have infiltrated the island. They do make me happy....but not as happy as cake. Back to the birthday front, and all my wishes were granted...except for world peace. God damn it, I ask for simple things, and you can't even get that right....I am of course joking. World peace does take time, so I can't expect anything overnight.
Back to my alternate reality and to thinking up an excuse not to go for drinks tomorrow.....have a good Friday :)
Posted by kat at 6:31 PM | Comments (0)