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October 21, 2006
Wombats are great
My life would not function were it not for post-it notes. I acquired this annoying habit at work, where my screen would be decorated with post-it's reminding me to do all sorts of things throughout my work day. I had a knack for saying yes to all kinds of projects, so these notes would serve as reminders. A great positive swing off this would be that I wouldn't write on my hand, something I have been doing since I was very young. Homework books just weren't my thing, and diaries, well, they're just there so you can look important when you whip it out to get information (like what the time difference between London and Mount Abu is (GMT+3 1/2 by the way). So these post-its became a way way of life, and the lesser of two evils of reminding myself to do things, as I was saving myself from ink poisoning, which by now I'm sure I have become immune to. Very soon after I started using these post-its, the reminders went on to things like "Meet mother for lunch", "Take lunch between 1 and 2", "Take lunch for God's sake!", which slowly progressed to things like "Drink water" and "Breathe!".
I weaned myself off the post-it junkie thing, but I find myself increasingly not using my diary, and relying on post-its that don't quite stick to my wall. I have a lovely diary, but I just cannot bring myself to writing in it. I think it has to do with my handwriting. If I do write in it, I like it to look all nice and pretty and neat and all that girly type stuff that we females waste time on. Post-its, however, are temporary, they get scrunched up, and thrown in the bin (if I'm having a good day they may actually go in on the second attempt at scoring a 3-pointer from my chair...never the first). I suppose that can be related to me life in general...temporary (can you tell I'm writing an essay at the moment ~ always having to relate and compare things in order to draw up conclusions....*sigh*). The only permanent fixture I have, is my family, and even now I'm drifting off from them to start up my new life, which kind of scares me.
I've been reflecting over the past week, as I like to do all too occasionally, and it dawned upon me, and I mean really dawned upon me as it has often poked its head up a few times, that I hate being tied down, I hate committing myself, I am really a free spirit. I like to be part of other people's lives, but get uneasy when they want to be part of mine. The only people I have really let into my life is my family, and even then they aren't completely part of it. I am closest to my mother, I find it hard to talk to my brother and dad, even though I love the just as much, my mother seems to understand me more. I don't have to say much because she can read me so well. I was telling someone earlier about how if I'm not feeling myself and people ask what's wrong and push me for answers, it rubs me up the wrong way and they get my back up. I DO NOT like to talk about things, I resolve things in my head or by writing, I don't need a two way conversation, the dialogue that happens is in my head. Me vs Reasoning.
My mom usually takes me on a silly adventure or distracts me by keeping me busy rather then asking questions, and over a period of time, if I'm still feeling not right, i'll open up to her. I miss her today. Lots of things have been happening, that I don't want to talk about, but wouldn't mind being distracted from. It's also her birthday on Thursday, and I was hoping we'd get a break between Block 1 and Block 2 (as advertised in the timetable of my course), but alas us Science students plod on, whilst the art students do their 10 hour weeks....
Something that did bring my mood down was Ama and Rok quitting FFXI to embark on their new adventure. I didn't really have the words for them last night. I enjoyed their company immensely when I did get a chance to play with them, but circumstances arose, and I saw less and less of them. What they are doing is a huge leap fo faith, and I can relate to any feelings of nervousness or apprehension, if there are any at all. They're lucky they get to do this thing together. Again, I wish them all the best, that everything goes smoothly, and that when hiccups arise, that they overcome them without hesitation.
A slightly downbeat entry, but.....
.....brought to you by Post-it(r)
By the way...cryptic title...ne?
Posted by kat at October 21, 2006 9:16 AM
