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April 15, 2007
I feel like flat eric....flat, not yellow
Things haven't been going according to plan lately, I do so hate it when that happens. I am a creature of lists, timetables and routines, and when these things get messed up, I get sad. I don't feel stressed for exams yet, and that is bothering me too. I just feel like something is missing, and I'm not sure what. My motivation is a bit not all there at the moment, I seem to forgetting things, and studying is not being as productive as usual. I'm getting the work done, but just not absorbing as much as I would like. I've been working towards exams for three weeks now, and I have three weeks to go until my first one.
I don't feel confident for these exams at all, and I seem to not be doing anything about it as other things are occupying my mind. I have to worry about getting a new place for next year, which is proving impossible, then there's a job for the summertime. I have been proactive and sent my CV everywhere, and for a student, it's pretty impressive, so I'm sure I'll get something closer to the time, and I have been looking for places daily, but there just doesn't seem to be anything suitable. I have to be in Edinburgh to view a place, which means only 5 weeks to find a place. There just seems to be so much I have to do, in so little time, and I suppose the pressure is getting to me. I love being stressed out, and running around like a madman, but I crack every now and then.
Yes mother, I am eating three times a day, and am taking my vitamins, and am exercising regularly to clear my mind, but I'm feeling knackered now. I think there is a distinct lack of chocolate in my diet at the moment. The whole trying to eat brain foods and be healthy bit never works for me. I always feel worse for it, and the lethargy and lack of energy doesn't help either, so my concentration is impaired, I feel rubbish, and go through major withdrawal of all those tasty preservatives (I love the headaches and ill feeling).
Apart from that, there's the constant worrying about those closest to me. I worry for no particular reason, and it keeps me up sometimes. Oh yes, and summer is approaching. The joy of waking up at 5am. Well, today I only woke up at 6am, so I suppose it isn't all that bad. I think it may be time to get out that fishing rod, and start some moat carp collecting on FFXI. Or I suppose I could try get some revision in. *sighs* I really want the holidays to start, but on the other hand I don't, because it'll mean I will be panicking about flats, and jobs and flying everywhere, and finding a place to store my stuff.
I just want things to go smoothly, but where would the fun in that be? I should go study some interesting, but not-so-interesting-to-write-about chemistry. Seriously, where are the cool facts? I have people to impress with my vast knowledge, and there is nothing amazing to tell them about. Like "Did you know, if you add water to an aldehyde, it becomes a hydrate, and if you add alcohol is becomes and hemiacetal, and if you add both it becomes an acetal?" Not riveting stuff, but the mechanisms are interesting enough.
Posted by kat at April 15, 2007 11:38 PM
