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November 6, 2007
It's been a while...again
I don't seem to have time for life these days. My dad reminded me of this yesterday. Between trying to concentrate on work (which isn't as productive as it sounds), my health swinging backwards and forwards, attempting to live a healthy lifestyle and take up long distance running, general stress, Kyle, and just dealing with my thoughts, I don't seem to find time for anything else but sleep.
First off, my concentration, it is gone, and I am offering a reward if someone could find it, and soon. I find myself drifting in and out of consciousness when writing things, and seem to be amalgamating words, for instance, instead of dry hydrolysis, I write drydrolysis, which I don't notice until I read over my work. I sincerely hope it's just because of the stress I am under.
My health has been joyous of late, I will spare the details, but it involved me getting very anxious over things that seemed to sort themselves out. I have a constant tension in my neck still, and it seems to make my mind foggy. I am focussed on working, but just lack the concentration to do so, and I get frustrated when I just can't get simple things into my head. I feel stupider than last year. Last year I coud have done a lot more than I am able to do now. Either I'm getting stupider by the day, or stress is impairing my thinking (something it has never done before, on the contrary it mostly makes my thought clearer).
The healthy lifestyle thing means my usual 400% RDA of sugar I take in has been reduced, and in place of it healthy things like fruit and vege have been introduced. I feel crap. Constant headaches, and it doesn't do much good because then if I prepare a meal, I tend to eat everything but the veges, and so end up malnourished >_<
The only thing going right in my life is my running. I am very impressed with my progress, although disappointed that I have only managed about 2 runs a week, due to health. Either way, I'm up to 9km in 50min, and I feel great the next day (I generally feel like vommiting after the run and struggle with food afterwards, but hey).
General stress = school. I feel so much pressure this semester. My continual quest to get straight A's along with coping with extra work load, and trying to balance everything else in my life is taking its toll. The quality of my work has gone down, and even though I am enjoying the subjects, the fact that the exams are looming makes me panic. I try to relax, but then feel guilty for not doing work. I really need to "just chill". I haven't gone out once this semester. Not even for halloween, Guy Fawkes, nothing. No drunken misbehaving. It is tragic.
Kyle has been putting stress on me too. Not in a bad way, but he hasn't been well either, so I've been worrying about him. He's in surgery at the moment, so I can feel the anxiety attack coming along. There is also the underlying stress of him not being here. I don't acknowledge that enough.
Then there's the general worry about money, getting enough sleep, remembering to do things stresses of life. I just don't seem to be coping as well as I should. I've started my vitamin regime for the build up to exams, as I know my appetite tends to drop off and I live on tea when I'm studying, and so hopefully the supplements may help me cope better.
On a postive note, I have completed my Christmas shopping. One less stress there I suppose.
All in all, stress = no creativity = no funny posts = no point writing
Apart from laughing at lecturers, I have very little joy in my life at the moment
And on that note, it time for some more revision =)
Posted by kat at 12:05 PM | Comments (0)