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April 27, 2008
big decision...indecision
As a scientist, it's hard to believe in things you can't explain. Life has a wonderful way of keeping me on my toes with such things. I spend many a night wondering why I am here on this earth, and how everything that is as it is could have happened by chance. There is a great rift between the evolutionists and the creationists, and it's hard to have to choose sides, so to speak. I am pretty neutral on this matter, as I believe both can coexist. Who are we to say what is and what isn't? I find it perplexing that people try and explain these greater puzzles. I was watching a programme on Stephen Hawking, which made me laugh. I'm to believe all these things because he came up with a few equations that agree with logic, and so must be correct? I do believe there is something out there that is much bigger than our minds can handle. I'm not disputing evolution, far from it, I completely support the idea that organisms evolve, I just struggle with the fact that something like, say, the eye came abouts by chance of mutation. I wouldn't say I was a religious person, but I do believe our lives are predestined - that there is a greater plan.
What my greater plan is - I am still trying to work that out. I have some big decisions to make over the next few months, ones that will impact the rest of my life, and it's hard to try guess whether you are making the right one. Decisions that may seem right now, may not necessarily be right in the future. Butterfly flapping its wings and all that. I'm scared of these things. I'm sure everyone wants to go through life making the right choices, so as to make their short time on this earth as enjoyable as possible. Could it be that we don't actually have any choice in the matter? That the choice that we make was already made for us before we were confronted with the question?
Far too philosophical for this time of the morning. I have far more important things to think about. Viruses for one. And the fact that I have exams in 11 and 16 days time, and feel horribly underprepared. So far this semester has gone without hitch, I've got the grades I've wanted, but I can't help expect the winning streak to be broken any moment now. I have bigger things playing on my mind, and I'm not as focused for these exams as I have been in the past. Hopefully I will have a fresh start in September, when things in my head are sorted. Right now, I shall live each day as it comes. One can never plan too much for the future. That greater plan may not agree with those plans.
Posted by kat at April 27, 2008 5:31 PM
